He knows you better

I grew up with a strict father and only saw my mother for a few weeks during holidays (they were not yet married) and as a result I am close to neither of them and do not have that mother-daughter or father-daughter bond that most children would tell you about. As I grew older I got introduced to other things that eventually moved me further away from who my parents were raising me to be. I still remember the day I did something so sinful that I realized just how far things had gone and at that time, all I could see whenever I looked into the mirror was disgrace, shame and failure; as the year progressed, I grew to resent my childhood and not being close to my mother because I was convinced that if only we had been close and I could confide in her then I wouldn’t be where I was or a sinner that I am and soon  that became the only thing that kept me going-I atleast had something to blame for my transgressions. But of course, this is just me laying a foundation so you may have an idea of where I come from…so I am in matric and have learnt to live with it and out of nowhere things change-I get saved! My salvation was none like others I believe, it was by force because I first had to choose life in a dream and woke up screaming the name of Jesus before I stood at church and confirmed it (some people make a joke of this when I share my story but I do not mind because that joke saved my life) but that is a story for another day…so my journey with God began and I could feel the burden having been lifted off-I could breathe! Moreover, as we walked together, more things were revealed and I realized that all along my parents, even though having not yet received  the grace of salvation, they had always warned and advised me against all the things I had ended up doing but I had been disobedient and was so wrapped around the ‘unfairness’ of my childhood that I failed to realize just how privileged I am to have them as my parents; He chastened me with the truth and showed me everything I had done wrong and where my weaknesses were- we were best friends- a well-oiled-machine kind of a team I would say. Unfortunately, I eventually back-slided and allowed my weaknesses to take over and moved from Him, but never once did He remove his eyes from me, instead He remained faithful, forgave me and brought me back up and never counted my failure or weakness against me. Times like these seemed to have become a habit and they made me feel like a failure because the harder I tried not to fall it seemed the easier my fall was and the harder I prayed the more I seemed to get tempted and fasting was even harder since avoiding food felt way more like torture than when I simply did not eat.

What is my point?  The family you were born into and the parents you have are not by mistake- they are not out to get you nor are they to make your life a misery- embrace them and allow them to love you with you loving them back. God trusted them to bring you up into that which He wants you to be for His own plan- let His plan play out by allowing Him to order your steps and Him to mold you every day.  From all this, I realized just what a Mighty God I serve- in the things that others regard as small, I have found my redeemer; I have found my strength and have learnt to surrender all to Him- my weaknesses, my strengths, battles, challenges and even temptation- He deals with all of them for me for He says in Matthew 11: 28-Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  That's all you have to do-come to Him!